who would have thought...

Who would have thought that our journey to parenthood would take the course it has? Looking back on the past three years, we have experienced quite the roller coaster of emotions and experiences. Through our journey I have spent time in many new and unexpected lands including fertility treatment, multiples, infant loss, miscarriage, high-risk pregnancy, still birth, and adoption.

Who would have thought I would learn so much and meet so many people because of these paths we have walked? At times when I felt so alone, people seemed to come out of the wood work with support, love, encouragement, and stories of their own experiences that gave me hope for the future. My relationships with both the Lord and with Dave have been strengthened beyond understanding, giving me faith, patience, and a deeper meaning of Love for every member of our family. These trials have helped mold me into the person I am today and I hope that this new version of myself is more kind, understanding, sympathetic, faithful, prayerful, and strong.

Who would have thought that adoption would bring about such miracles? It has been a beautiful journey, full of happiness, answered prayers, deepest appreciation, fulfillment, and joy. Each experience in the past has led me and prepared me for the next, creating a better mom for Lillian than I ever could have been before. Our world has changed for the better over the past 4 months as we have learned first-hand that adoption truly is about pure, unselfish love. Lillian is our pride and joy, the love of our lives, the sun and the moon. She knows her 3 older brothers and older sister in Heaven, and we are counting down the days until we can take Lillian to the temple and have her sealed to us for time and all eternity.

Who would have thought I would get pregnant again? Without procedures, needles, or ultrasounds. Trust me, nobody is more shocked than myself. We are expecting a baby girl in January, and couldn't be more thrilled!! Having two girls will be so much fun- I know how close I am to my 2 sisters and can think of no greater gift to my daughters than each other. Lillian can't wait to have a little playmate to share life with. Saying I'm nervous, scared, and worried is an understatement. But I'm coming to the realization that I don't have much control concerning this area of my life; I can only do my best and leave the rest up to the Lord. So please send your prayers, luck, and positive energy our way for the next 5 months!

Who would have thought life would be so interesting?

gray + yellow = love

I find it hard to resist the combination of gray and yellow. Maybe it's this time of the year- the sky is often gray, but a peek of sun coming through makes everything beautiful. And as spring draws closer, the bright colors bring hope, happiness, and signs of a new beginning. I think that's how I've been feeling lately: there are many moments, hours, or days where I feel sad and gray. But then I'll get a splash of yellow- a ray of hope concerning the future, a kind word, a prayer answered, a heartfelt conversation. Maybe the gray makes the yellow even more vibrant and happy, and the yellow shines a light on the gray which makes it look not so drab. But I believe the true beauty comes from the combination of the two.

Hello, Hong Kong

Decisions, Decisions... Chop-Sticking To My Story, Red My Fortune Cookie, or Dim Sum Plum? Coming soon to a salon near you, this new collection from OPI makes me want to travel to the Far East and wear these colors on more than just my nails. Who can resist Panda-monium Pink? Go here to get the full scoop and try them on your own fingernails. I have to agree, A Good Man-darin Is Hard To Find.

food for all

I watched this movie with some friends last week, and after being thoroughly engrossed for 90 minutes, decided this is a must-see not just for me but for every American. Typically, I've been pretty skeptical of "organic", "all-natural" etc labels on food- what's the real difference besides a marketing ploy? But this film really opened my eyes to see some of what goes on behind closed doors of the food industry. Maybe organic isn't just for hippies and elitist snobs. Maybe chemically altering food isn't such a good idea after all. Maybe we don't need 4,000 calories worth of corn for every American, every day.

I want to be an informed consumer and want to actually know a bit about the stuff I'm putting in my body besides the fat and calorie content. I also want to leave the next generation with a sustainable planet. This movie has really got me thinking.... As Americans, we (generally speaking) don't like to buy the cheapest cars, the cheapest clothes, the cheapest make-up, or cheapest entertainment options. We'll shell out top dollar for these disposable items. Yet when it comes to food, feeding the bodies that we want to last for 80 years, we want the absolute lowest dollar amount. Why??? It also seems ironic to me that farmers, farm land, and farming itself is a dying art even though the world's population continues to grow, increasing the amount of food needed worldwide.

I'm of the belief that one person can make a difference. So I recycle. I plant a garden. I try not to waste food. And last week I bought my first half-gallon of organic milk.

And now I'll get off my soapbox for the day.