progress

The upstairs' progress: the wood floor has been refinished and stained, and wainscoting panels are up, ready for the next steps of putty, sand, prime, and paint.

The basement's progress: we passed inspection! Insulation went in today, now ready for drywall. We are now accepting suggestions (and donations) for carpet, paint, and furniture.

Lillian's progress: 4-month shots have been received, and she is now mastering the skills of sitting up and rolling over.

Baby girl's progress: we are now 19 weeks 4 days along- half way there! I'm showing on the outside and feeling her move on the inside.

As for Dave and I, our marriage just progressed past its 5 year mark, which made us question how the time goes by so fast and wonder where the next 5 years will take us.

And that's the Watkins family progress report.

who would have thought...

Who would have thought that our journey to parenthood would take the course it has? Looking back on the past three years, we have experienced quite the roller coaster of emotions and experiences. Through our journey I have spent time in many new and unexpected lands including fertility treatment, multiples, infant loss, miscarriage, high-risk pregnancy, still birth, and adoption.

Who would have thought I would learn so much and meet so many people because of these paths we have walked? At times when I felt so alone, people seemed to come out of the wood work with support, love, encouragement, and stories of their own experiences that gave me hope for the future. My relationships with both the Lord and with Dave have been strengthened beyond understanding, giving me faith, patience, and a deeper meaning of Love for every member of our family. These trials have helped mold me into the person I am today and I hope that this new version of myself is more kind, understanding, sympathetic, faithful, prayerful, and strong.

Who would have thought that adoption would bring about such miracles? It has been a beautiful journey, full of happiness, answered prayers, deepest appreciation, fulfillment, and joy. Each experience in the past has led me and prepared me for the next, creating a better mom for Lillian than I ever could have been before. Our world has changed for the better over the past 4 months as we have learned first-hand that adoption truly is about pure, unselfish love. Lillian is our pride and joy, the love of our lives, the sun and the moon. She knows her 3 older brothers and older sister in Heaven, and we are counting down the days until we can take Lillian to the temple and have her sealed to us for time and all eternity.

Who would have thought I would get pregnant again? Without procedures, needles, or ultrasounds. Trust me, nobody is more shocked than myself. We are expecting a baby girl in January, and couldn't be more thrilled!! Having two girls will be so much fun- I know how close I am to my 2 sisters and can think of no greater gift to my daughters than each other. Lillian can't wait to have a little playmate to share life with. Saying I'm nervous, scared, and worried is an understatement. But I'm coming to the realization that I don't have much control concerning this area of my life; I can only do my best and leave the rest up to the Lord. So please send your prayers, luck, and positive energy our way for the next 5 months!

Who would have thought life would be so interesting?

I don't know

How do I go on when my world has fallen apart?

Why must I say goodbye to my child when our life together has only just begun?

How can I be brave when my worst fears have come true?

How can my eyes physically produce this many tears?

What can I do to feel better when nothing can change what has happened?

I don't know.

I DO know that little Miles is a part of our family now and forever, and I will be with him for eternity.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me, Dave, and our children and has a plan for our family.

I know that I am surrounded by prayers, fasting, thoughts, support, and love from everyone we know.

I know that I am honored to be the mother to a beautiful baby boy who is too perfect for this imperfect world.

I know that when I feel like I can't face another day, the Lord answers my prayers through each person who gives me courage, strength, and faith to endure.

Thank you for being that person. Thank you for each hug, note, prayer, thought, and bit of love. Not only do I appreciate it more than you know, I think I need it more than I know.

you can call me...

Call me lazy... I haven't been to the gym in months, and don't plan on going any time soon.
Call me unadventurous... we have no vacations planned for at least the next 6 months.
Call me a picky eater... my selection of favorite foods has been narrowed down to Golden Grahams, grilled cheese sandwiches, watermelon, and BLTs.
Call me a teenager... I've never had more zits in my life than I do now.
Call me the sandman... 11 hours of sleep each day seems to be barely enough.
Call me chubby... the pounds keep creeping on and I assume will continue to do so.
Call me hopeful, determined, excited, nervous, and a bit crazy for even trying this whole thing again.
Call me what you want.... I'm calling myself pregnant.


This whole process of becoming parents has not been an easy one for Dave and I. It's been filled with some of our highest highs and definitely our lowest lows. This little one on the way will always know it has 2 older brothers and an older sister in heaven, watching over our family members here on earth. I deeply and truly appreciate all of our family and friends that have continued to offer their support, encouragement, understanding, and love. I hope that I can offer these same things to others that may be going through similar trials. Throughout this journey, I continue to learn more and more about patience, faith, prayer, hope, and trusting in the Lord's will and timing. I know He has a plan for the Watkins family, and Dave and I couldn't be more excited about this addition- our little peanut is quite the big deal around here!