Lucky Me!

2 things have happened in the past 2 days that nearly never happen- I got out of not one but TWO weekend night shifts! This is a blessing straight from heaven of which I've been the grateful recipient. Thursday was a hard day at work, one I will not soon forget. Let's just leave it at that. So you can imagine my utter joy when I get a phone call that night around 9:30 from a coworker, "do you want me to work your Friday night shift?" Heck, yes!! I want you all to understand that this very very rarely happens (never say never, right?). To make things even better, Saturday I get a call from work right as I was preparing for my nap. "Do you want to work tomorrow day instead of tonight?" Now I don't like to work Sundays but getting out of a night shift is so tempting... so I agreed to the switch. This has allowed me to attend Ben's blessing, hang out with our grandpa, go shopping with friends, spend time with Dave, and sleep during the night! Talk about good luck and a good weekend...

It's been 6 days

While spending Easter weekend in St. George, I pretty much over-loaded on candy. What do you expect me to do? I was surrounded by every variety of m&m's, jelly beans, Reese's pb cups, licorice, peeps, and mini twix- so naturally I feasted upon the chocolate and high fructose corn syrup. After we got home Sunday night, I was contemplating the large doses of candy I consumed and realized that I can't complain about un-lost pregnancy pounds when I eat like that. So suddenly, in a rash and unplanned moment, I splurted out "I'm not going to eat any treats for a whole week." ("treats" are defined as candy, cookies, cake, chocolate, etc.) Now maybe this is normal for some of you. Maybe you think it wouldn't be that hard. But if you know me at all, you know this is a huge sacrifice. I don't go a DAY without treats, not to mention a WEEK. Now if I had just thought about withholding for a week, that would be one thing. But I said it out loud, to Dave. So I had to stick to it! I thought about forgetting I ever said it, but I felt bad giving up so easy. I then felt like I had to prove it to myself and to Dave that I really could do it! Well, I'm almost there. It's been 6 days, one more to go, and I'm looking forward to Sunday so I can eat whatever I want. It's been tough- my bowl of happy pastel m&m's (plain, pb, and peanut) have been calling my name every night. But I think my biggest challenge will be tomorrow night- I'm working a night shift, a time I usually live off of treats. Other people have diet coke, coffee, red bull to keep them awake. Me? I stay awake thanks to treats. So this is a dilemma. Since my decision making skills and self-control are usually impaired in the middle of the night, I'll probably figure that after midnight it's technically Sunday and I can have treats again!
I guess I'm proud of myself for (almost) achieving a goal I set, but I can't say I feel so much healthier, look skinnier, or have lost a ton of weight. If any of you are thinking about making a similar goal, stop now, go enjoy a treat, and wish me luck for the next 2 days.

Comforts of Home, part two

Home Sweet Home. I have unloaded my deep feelings of love for my parents' home, but I must say it is my second favorite. Here in my little blue house lies my all-time favorite place. There are so many things about it I love, mostly the feeling I have when I'm inside its walls. From morning to night, I appreciate:

• waking up to this

• the tennis ball hanging in our garage making sure my car squeezes in just right
• seeing Joey look at me through the kitty door as I reverse down the driveway
• finding Dave's socks at the bottom of the bed, knowing he kicked them off while asleep
• doing laundry in our high-tech washer and dryer that I won from Dan's grocery store
• cuddling on the couch after dinner to watch LOST, 30 Rock, or a Jazz game
• how Dave can be in the family room while I'm on the computer and we can still be having a normal conversation
• the painting on our wall that reminds me of getting engaged and melts my heart every time I see it
• crawling into bed with the one I love, feeling safe as I fall asleep knowing he'll be next to me now and always

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a handmade gift/treat from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! Here's the catch: you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a "pay it forward" post on your blog to keep the fun going. Then come back, let me know you're going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift! Who doesn't love a surprise?

Comforts of Home, part one

What is it about home that is so comforting? I think it may be different for everybody and for every home. To me, home is more of a feeling than an actual place.

For the past two months, Dave and I have had the pleasure of staying with my parents in my childhood home. This will always be one of the places I consider "home," full of many memories and traditions. My parents' home provides me with strong feelings of belonging, comfort, and unconditional love. But why?

Maybe it's my mom's delicious food she prepares daily- no matter what is served it always tastes better when she makes it. Maybe it's the way my dad saves the Tribune crossword each morning for me, then comes home after work to check my answers (or help me finish it!). Maybe it's the warm fireplace that draws me close night after night, or the nightlights in the hallway that prevent any bumps or bruises as I find my way to the bathroom. Is it Brittany, looking up at me with her big brown eyes wanting a rub or just a little treat? Is it my dad watching 30 Rock with me when I know he'd rather be watching Criminal Minds? Maybe it's my mom driving me to and from University Hospital several times when I know how much she dislikes finding her way around the campus.

I can't pinpoint what it is about home that helps to heal my spirit and mend my heart, but I know I'd be lost without it. I am filled with gratitude to my parents for making their home a place of refuge, safety, comfort, and love, and Dave and I aim to do the same. Returning home to mine and Dave's house was bittersweet- although I was thrilled to be going home and returning to Joey, I knew I would miss my parents. The closeness I gained to my parents made me want to share each day with them. Never will I forget the generosity and compassion they have shown to me, and although I know I can never repay them I hope to honor them by creating a home that holds the same feelings of comfort and warmth. There really is no place like home.

A new month, a new me

March has always been a month of change.  To me it signals the end of a cold, dark winter and the coming of a warmer, brighter spring.  Something I love about the month is watching the crocuses, daffodils, and tulips break through the brown soil with their green leaves and colorful flowers.  As I see them in my own yard as well as others, they bring me hope of lighter days with more sunshine and warmth.  These flowers have hidden underground during the long months of winter but have not given up.  Not only do they eventually blossom, but they make this effort immediately after sensing any increase in temperature, for they are eager to enjoy the spring and summer again.  These flowers know that their colorful petals and vibrant stems will turn brown once more and they will have to turn inward and endure more dark times.  But this doesn't stop them from fulfilling their beautiful potential.  Often times throughout the cold months of winter, these flowers not only survive but grow and become stronger, filling gardens with more and more beautiful blossoms each year.

I hope to become like these flowers.  I hope to blossom and fulfill more of my potential.  I know hard times will come again, but I want to enjoy every good day the Lord grants me.  I want my trials to motivate me to be brighter and stronger during the good times rather than live in fear of another "winter."  As March transitions from winter to spring, I am trying to transition from sadness to joy.  We all know that the month of March does not mean there will be no more blizzards or rainstorms, but that more and more sunny days are on their way.  And maybe I too will have more sunny days.  The months are changing and so am I.  

Our 3 Angels

Dave and I now have 3 beautiful angels in Heaven:

Isaac Watkins January 25, 2009 8:50 pm

Noah Watkins January 30, 2009 4:51 am 5 ounces, 7 inches

Ruth Watkins January 30, 2009 4:51 am 6 ounces, 8 inches

The immense love we have for our children consumes our hearts and souls. They are a very special part of our family and we know their spirits are always with us, now and forever.

Saying I am extremely sad and deeply hurt is a huge understatement; this kind of pain is unbearable. My soul has never felt so empty yet so heavy. My heart is shattered and broken and I don't know how to fix it. There are no words to describe my feelings, thoughts, and yearnings, and even if there were they are too intense and difficult to talk about.

Dave and I take comfort in knowing our children love us and they can feel of our love as well. Our knowledge of the Gospel reassures us that we will live with them again and that God has a greater plan for our family than we know of. We are truly grateful for the love and support that has been extended to us by our family and close friends- it is at times like this that I realize that I don't just love my family but I need them desperately. Each day I feel a wide range of emotions, sadness and pain interspersed with bits of hope and faith. But one emotion triumphs all others- the overwhelming love I have for each of our 3 beautiful children.